Were Not In Berkley Anymore ....

So I went back up there the other day.. just to visit .. spend time with friends , see my puppy..missed him a lot . I felt like I abandoned him in a way. I didnt think to much about everything I just was there . I guess it wasnt untill I actually went into my room when everything came rushing back to me . all the great times , the bad times..and the sad.. all the moments that made it so hard for me before to live there came back. I felt so much then ... ive been so dead .. so lost ..so scared so alone... on my own. I forgot how much I truly kept repressed. but it poured back into me and filled my heart up with sadness and regret .. ive missed having that so much in my live . I forgot how fucking great things felt then to me .. it was my own perfect world that no one could get in between of .. no one could touch us then . or seperate us from eachother . all I felt was love .. that love ive always felt and have. . i miss that so much.. I know it made me miserable to be there bc it was all I thought and felt but from feeling like there was a whole in my heart that went missing to deep emotion it brought me to life for the moment . almost divine .it was amazing al to feel so much again . and remember how it all felt like with clarity ... I was with you again last night ... I visited you again this morning in my dreams, wonderful..writing doesnt do justice