http://mattxdfx5c.buzznet.com/user/journal/ en-us http://mattxdfx5c.buzznet.com/user/journal/1945711/ but I cant say it.. ill only come up empty
its foggy right now im getting lost trying to peice things together in the dark
nothings fitting right.
why ...it lies at the end but I never get that far. seems I begin doing endless circles when the answer is probally right in front of me.
I used to be scared , but what do I have to lose now.. I dont care if it hurts
It cant be more than ive already been through.. its worth it but is it too late?
I'll have to fight to find out., ill die trying
]]> Buzznet mattxdfx5c 2008-03-06T07:08:00Z http://mattxdfx5c.buzznet.com/user/journal/1902371/  ... "sometimes I dream that I'm alive, under the stars under the sky and I awake paralyized to another day that I cannot face. and im trying im trying to find a way out of the darkness of this tunnel at the end of the light and im dreaming forever of the day to another time where life wont be this way.

whenever the time comes if im blessed and fortunate to be granted it I hope you never stop praying for me . I think ill need it along the way and maybe thats the reason why im still here now]]> Buzznet mattxdfx5c 2008-02-27T11:00:00Z http://mattxdfx5c.buzznet.com/user/journal/1893071/ ]]> Buzznet mattxdfx5c 2008-02-25T18:53:00Z http://mattxdfx5c.buzznet.com/user/journal/1870961/ not something that ill ever soon forget. I do visit you in my dreams .
 just the other night I was with you again. all i remember was talking to you..
we were having a pretty serious but nice conversation. as things lightened up we kissed ..your lips were still as soft and lovely as I had remembered them to be i felt you so close to my body and you gave me all of that juicy tongue of urs untill you had me all worked up where I couldnt control the urge to strip you down and make you mine. once we were both naked together I felt that hot urge that almost hurt i wanted you so bad, u remember how I used to tell you about that ...so wild. I couldnt tell the difference from a dream bc to me it was reality no questions asked. you even did that certain thing that I love that I couldnt yet post here to talk about .. but oh it drove me fucking crazy i felt every single bit  ..afterwards I couldnt resist but to be on top of you  . rocking eachothers world just as hard as always....you always brought the beast out of me. To be completely honest here I felt more alive than I ive been  awake. I cant explain to anyone that doesnt know what that feels like really but it was amazing to be that close to you again..]]> Buzznet mattxdfx5c 2008-02-22T07:53:00Z http://mattxdfx5c.buzznet.com/user/journal/1865271/ love i cant think I just wanna feel not think anymore no more let me feel again
Sweetheart?]]> Buzznet mattxdfx5c 2008-02-21T10:08:00Z http://mattxdfx5c.buzznet.com/user/journal/1865141/ ahh I guess my mind still likes to fuck with me , but to me she was the one. the only person I ever felt like our souls meet once. that I ever felt like I became one with inside ,  just an out of body experience. but  it was so real and incredible once what I felt for her. we existed somewhere beyond time. I thought we always would. how can something so incredible and extraordinary , never to be felt with anyone else before just die. i dont think so . I still feel her inside of me sometimes. I can still feel that connection we have . at times I can feel her thinking of me.. and I wonder if im the only one then fine but if not why arnt we together now. some things take time i suppose. but ill never forget how alive she made me feel inside and that no matter what I was never completely alone in this world...]]> Buzznet mattxdfx5c 2008-02-21T09:41:00Z http://mattxdfx5c.buzznet.com/user/journal/1811711/ but
Im doing what I should of been doing a long time ago now though ...keeping my promise ..


]]> Buzznet mattxdfx5c 2008-02-11T15:21:00Z